Haunted By Fear
by Five Dollar Mixtape
Summary: Hauntedkit is always scared, but not of being scared. For a competition from my forum, SoulClan. Prompt: Only be afraid of fear itself.


She was a paradox, if she said so herself.

She was smart, too, but quietly.

But she was scared. Of what? Pretty much everything. From the sudden appearance of a cat at her side to the looming shadows of camp, she was scared of it. Surprisingly, she didn't want to be a Medicine Cat. Maybe it came from watching her brother, the only cat who supported her through her short kit life, die a slow painful death. He got sick at the age of only one moon, and died at the age of four. After her brother's death, she added to Medicine Den (and the Medicine Cat himself, Icewhisker) to her growing list of fears. Today, she was becoming a warrior apprentice alone.

She felt wrong, to say the least. And scared.

Now, the paradox part comes in when she says that she was scared of everything, but not of being afraid. She was used to being afraid, or waiting for something to scare her. As such, the younger kits started to call her Jumpkit, because of how jumpy she was. Of course, that wasn't her name, but an irrational part of herself convinced the rest of her that maybe her mother thought of changing her name once or twice.

She knew that if Tundrakit was still alive, he would be growling at the younger kits every time they jeered 'Jumpkit', or would tell her that the rest of the Clan was full of mouse brains if they couldn't see how smart she was despite how scared she was all the time. She took comfort in that.

Before she had time to think anymore, her mother, Shadowleaf, was covering her in licks (which scared her, before she forced herself to calm down). "You need to look perfect for your ceremony," she meowed between lickes, smoothing down barely ruffled dark brown and black tabby fur until it shined. Silvertail, another queen, left the Nursery, looking at the queen and kit pair with a soft look in her blue-gray eyes.

"Good luck," she meowed softly, her silver pelt shining in the light as she padded towards the fresh kill pile.

The black queen sat back, looking at her work with pride shining in her copper colored eyes. The kit looked up at her mother, the same colored eyes filled with apprehension.

"Shadowleaf?" she asked softly.

"Yes, Hauntedkit?"

 _Haunted._ She always thought that name suited her well.

"Who will my mentor be?" she asked softly, if not softer then before.

Shadowleaf shrugged her shoulders. "Froststar is the one who decides that. And it looks like he's about to call the Clan together."

Hauntedkit turned her head to look at the lilac-eyed albino tom, standing at the top of a ledge. "May all cats old enough to follow the stars gather here beneath the Carved Ledge for a Clan meeting!" The small she-cat felt herself get a small nudge.

"Go on," Shadowleaf encouraged. "They're waiting for you."

The thought of making cats wait for her, causing them trouble, caused her even more fear, and she trotted towards the Carved Ledge. This was the first time that she had been close enough to admire it, and from her she could see small, intricate designs carved into it. _Maybe I can ask my mentor about it sometime…_ she thought, in awe of the designs.

Hauntedkit sat down, her tail twitching nervously, and waited for Froststar to start the ceremony. It didn't take long.

"Cats of AmberClan," the tom began. "Today, I get to perform one of my favorite ceremonies, one that shows strength and growth." He turned his eyes to Hauntedkit, causing her to stiffen. "Hauntedkit, from this moment on, you shall be known as Hauntedpaw. Train well until you earn your warrior name." He turned his eyes to the crowd again. "Liontalon, you had a good mentor in Thornear, and I believe that you will train Hauntedpaw well."

Hauntedpaw turned her head to see a large, calico tom with lemon yellow eyes padding towards her with a bit of a confident air about him. Hauntedpaw could tell that she was going to be swallowed up by this tom in a matter of moments, his aura swallowing hers, just as everybody elses did. She fit in easier in the background.

She stood, and Liontalon dipped his head so they could touch noses easier. His yellow eyes were shining with pride and joy, and he was letting out a happy purr.

 _He seems nice,_ was Hauntedpaw's only thought. The two slinked back into the front of the crowd.

"Hauntedpaw! Hauntedpaw!"

* * *

A moon later, and Hauntedpaw thought her training was going alright. Not good, just… alright. She had adjusted to the sleep schedule Liontalon demanded of her for training and her new den mates didn't call her Jumppaw, but she was still scared. So she was surprised when she was dragged out of camp at Moonhigh by her mentor one night, but not enough to still be drowsy enough to let out a huge yawn.

"Oh, you'll be fine," Liontalon meowed, his usual confidence leaking into his voice. "The Gathering is tomorrow anyway, and you'll be up all night for that."

"How do you know I'll be going?" Hauntedpaw asked in her soft voice, her ears perked in interest.

"Because Froststar always takes new apprentices to see their first Gathering," Liontalon meowed. He sat down next to a large tree, Hauntedpaw settling down in front of him. She heard a sudden rustle, which caused her to stiffen up even more than she usually was. That was another thing that she had added onto her list of fears: the rustle of prey.

"So," Liontalon began, "as you know, the whole Clan knows about your… confidence issue, let's call it. I believe that's why Froststar made me your mentor." Hauntedpaw hesitated before she nodded, shuffling her paws. "So, we're going to work on it, starting at the Gathering."

"How?" Hauntedpaw asked, tilting her head.

" _You_ ," Liontalon's eyes shone with excitement, "will be socializing, without any help."

"I'll… what?" the apprentice's eyes were wide at even the _thought_ of having to talk to other cats on her own.

"You'll be fine," her mentor encouraged. "All chances are that the other apprentices will do most of the talking."

* * *

Hauntedpaw looked at the tall trees around her. Liontalon pointed her towards a certain tree. "Most of the apprentices gather there," he meowed. "I already taught you to climb trees, and you did fine." Hauntedpaw nodded nervously, then padded slowly over to the tree. She saw Riverpaw out of the corner of her eye, a pretty bicolor blue-gray and white she-cat with hazel eyes. Her brother, Thunderpaw, a brown tom with a single cream paw and aqua eyes followed behind her.

"Hey, Hauntedpaw!" Riverpaw meowed, her tail flicking.

"Hi," she meowed softly.

"Come on, we'll introduce you to the other apprentices," Thunderpaw purred kindly. "But Liontalon threatened us earlier if we helped you talk to them other than that."

 _Of course he did,_ she thought.

Riverpaw climbed up the tree first, settling on a high up branch. Hauntedpaw quickly followed. The bicolored cat sweeped her tail out at the space next to her, inviting the brown and black tabby to sit. She detached herself from the trunk, sitting next to the older apprentice.

"When will the other Clans get here?" Thunderpaw asked, sitting on a lower branch.

"Soon, probably," Riverpaw meowed.

"So, Hauntedpaw," Thunderpaw meowed. "How's training been?"

"Fine," she meowed in her soft voice, "Liontalon's started my fighting training, and I think I'm fairly good at hunting."

"Speaking of Liontalon," Riverpaw mewed, "Why did he threaten us before the Gathering?"

"He wants me to build up my confidence," the younger explained. "He said that the other cats would take the lead in the conversation," she looked down at her paws and fidgeted them.

"I'd help if I could," Thunderpaw meowed, "But I like my meals, thanks." He finished just as the CloudClan cats flooded into the Tree Round.

"Hey, look!" Riverpaw exclaimed. "There's Sunpaw, Heartpaw, and Dawnpaw!" Hauntedpaw swallowed at the names of three CloudClan apprentices.

"They're nice, don't worry about it," Thunderpaw meowed. The tabby nodded as three new cats joined them.

One of them was a cream she-cat with ginger paws and ears with golden eyes. Another was a smoked brown she-cat with orange eyes. The last was a white, tipped she-cat with ice-blue eyes.

"Hey!" the cream and ginger she-cat meowed. The tipped white cat turned her eyes to Hauntedpaw.

"Who's this?" she asked.

"New apprentice?" the smoked brown she-cat added.

Hauntedpaw nodded once. "I'm Hauntedpaw," she murmured quietly. _Did I do that right?_

The tipped white cat let out a purr. "Aw, she's shy!"

"I'm Sunpaw," the cream and ginger she-cat meowed, "this," she gestured to the tipped white she-cat, "is Dawnpaw, and this-" to the smoked brown she-cat, "is Heartpaw." Hauntedpaw dipped her head in respect to the older apprentices.

"She's adorable," Dawnpaw cooed, looking at her. "She's so quiet, and calm, and respectful, and-"

"Yes, we get it, you like new apprentices," Heartpaw cut her off.

Hauntedpaw wanted to shrink into her own fur.

"Who's your mentor?" Sunpaw asked.

"Liontalon," Hauntedpaw meowed, her ear flicking nervously and rapidly. Icewhisker told her it was a nervous tick. Riverpaw nudged her shoulder, in a gesture that she guessed was supposed to be comforting.

"How's the Clan been, Thunderpaw?" Heartpaw asked.

"Pretty good," he meowed. "Even though the only thing that happened in the last moon was Hauntedpaw's apprenticeship."

They were quickly joined by MouseClan, who only had one apprentice. He quickly joined the others. He was a shaded red tom with amber eyes.

"Who are you?" Heartpaw asked, looking at him.

"Blazepaw," he responded happily. "This is my first Gathering," he added.

"It's my first, too," Hauntedpaw spoke to her paws. "I'm Hauntedpaw." The other cats introduced themselves.

"Nice to meet you guys!" Blazepaw meowed, curling his tail around his paws. Riverpaw leaned over to whisper in Hauntedpaw's ear.

"You should take notes, Hauntedpaw," she whispered. The tabby faked a soft purr before their attention was called to the leaders on a flat stone in the center of the Tree Round.

* * *

"So, did it go well?" Liontalon asked on the way back to the AmberClan camp.

"I talked to the other apprentices, if that's what you mean," Hauntedpaw meowed.

Liontalon let out a sigh. "We'll keep working on it."

* * *

"Listen," the calico tom ordered. "And try not to jump. Close your eyes and take slow, deep breaths."

"How do you know what to do?" Hauntedpaw asked.

"I asked Icewhisker." The she-cat nodded before she closed her eyes and took deep breaths, just like her mentor ordered. Her ears twitched as she heard a rustle, and she stiffened, but with a deep breath she calmed herself down. She felt a bit surprised that it worked, and a bit unsettled that she wasn't scared.

Liontalon had her continue until Thunderpaw and his mentor, Thorndust padded into their space.

* * *

After a few quarter moons of the exercise, she felt better knowing what to do when she got scared now. Especially when it was so easy: close her eyes, take a deep breath, feel better. Riverpaw had pointed out to her that she had started to change a bit, but she wasn't sure into what. Thunderpaw agreed, but he said that anything would be better for her than the terrified cat that she was.

* * *

After a moon, she found out that she didn't get as scared easily any more. Rustles didn't scare her anymore, but a cat throwing themselves out of the bushes would. Liontalon said that he was feeling much better about her training: ever since they had started the exercise (which they had done as something to finish off their day), he said that the rest of her skills had improved.

* * *

Two more cats joined them in the apprentices den a moon later: Foxpaw, a rusty colored tom with a cream chest and tail tip with dark green eyes, and Windpaw, a tipped cream she-cat with light green eyes. Both of them looked at Hauntedpaw and immediately started whispering to each other. Hauntedpaw strained her ears to hear.

" _That_ is Jumppaw?" Foxpaw whispered.

"She's even walking a bit differently," Windpaw added.

"Liontalon must be a great mentor," the rust colored cat meowed. His sister just nodded in agreement.

* * *

"I've decided," Riverpaw meowed. "You're still quiet and all, but you're just a bit more confident."

Thunderpaw nodded in agreement. "You know, less shy more contemplating."

"You think so?" Hauntedpaw asked, tilting her head.

"Yeah!" Foxpaw added. "You used to jump at everything in the Nursery!"

"Liontalon's been good to you," Windpaw agreed.

* * *

"It's still healthy to be scared of things," Liontalon meowed as they padded through the territory, back towards camp. "Sometimes fear can be good: it'll make you run faster, fight harder… but you can't be scared of everything." The tom looked back at his apprentice. "The only thing you have to be afraid of is fear itself," he purred playfully.

* * *

As her training went on, Hauntedpaw became terrified of becoming her past self again. She didn't want to be that cat that she was before: the one that was scared of her own shadow. As time went on, Liontalon did their exercise less and less, glad that her confidence and built up. Instead, he focused on her fighting and hunting skills. Riverpaw and Thunderpaw, now Riverpath and Thunderfire, were also glad that she wasn't as scared anymore.

* * *

"Did she pass? Did she pass?" Thunderfire urged, looking at Liontalon with excitement in his eyes. Liontalon nodded with a purr.

"Yes!" Riverpath cheered, quickly knocking her away from her mentor. She was covered with licks, ruffled fur becoming smooth and shiny.

"I'll go tell Froststar," Liontalon called. Hauntedpaw nodded, purring.

"Your ceremony should be this evening," Thunderfire meowed. Hauntedpaw nodded.

Foxpaw and Windpaw rushed over to them as soon as they came into camp, not bothering to drop their prey into the fresh kill pile.

"I'm guessing she passed?" Windpaw meowed. Hauntedpaw nodded, still purring.

"That's great!" Foxpaw meowed.

"You'll share a den with us again!" Riverpath meowed between licks.

"It'll be great! We can annoy all the other warriors!" Thunderfire added.

Hauntedpaw nodded in agreement. "Do you have plans?"

"Oh, you bet that I do!" he meowed excitedly. He rambled on and on about the ways he had been annoying the warriors, while Riverpath and Hauntedpaw finished grooming the tabby's pelt.

Evening quickly came, and the whole Clan gathered to watch Hauntedpaw's ceremony. She was already sitting in the center of a ring of cats, and she felt like a small cat was sitting next to her. Everytime she looked at the place she felt the presence, though, there was nothing.

When Froststar leapt to the top of the Carved Ledge, he didn't call the Clan together. "Liontalon," he began, his eyes also drifting to the spot where Hauntedpaw felt the presence for a heartbeat. "Do you believe that Hauntedpaw is ready to become a warrior?"

Hauntedpaw could see Liontalon nodding. "She's grown into an amazing young cat." Her ears burned at the compliment.

Froststar nodded, then turned his face to the sky. "I, Froststar, leader of AmberClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down upon this apprentice. She has trained hard to understand your noble code, and I commend her to you was a warrior in her turn." He turned his eyes back to the soon-to-be warrior. "Hauntedpaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code, and to protect and defend this Clan, even at the cost of your life?"

"I do," Hauntedpaw meowed with no hesitation.

"Then by the powers of StarClan, I give you your warrior name. Hauntedpaw, from this moment on, you shall be known as Hauntedpool. StarClan honors your wit and courage, and we welcome you as a full warrior of AmberClan."

Froststar leapt down from the Carved Ledge and set his muzzle on her head. She licked his shoulder in return.

"Hauntedpool! Hauntedpool!"

* * *

After she gave a sincere 'thank you' to Liontalon, and her friends congratulated her on her new position, she started her vigil. She sat down by the camp entrance, curling her tail around her paws.

She saw something moving in the underbrush in front of her, and opened her jaws to scent the air. And she could easily recognize the scent.

 _No…_ she thought, her eyes widening as a familiar, cream and white tabby with stars in his fur and copper eyes padded out of the underbrush.

"Tundrakit?" she whispered.

"Come on, Hauntedpool," he meowed. "You thought I would miss your warrior ceremony?" He padded up to her and got up on his hind paws, his forepaws on her leg. "You shouldn't be talking, you know."

"But-"

"Sh!" he meowed. "I always told you that you would be a great warrior. Liontalon was the best, wasn't he?" he asked. Hauntedpool nodded in agreement, still dumbfounded that her littermate was here.

His ears twitched as he looked over at the underbrush behind him. "Oh, great, I have to go," he meowed. "But I guess I'll see you later, huh?" he meowed.

"Yeah, I guess," Hauntedpool added. He got back on all four paws and padded towards the underbrush, disappearing into it with a flick of his tail.

* * *

Hauntedpool didn't feel good about this battle. Then again, she never felt good about any battle, but this one in particular made her feel horrible. At the mention of it, when Riverpath and Thunderfire were both excited and scared for it, they went to her for advice and as soon as they said the word 'battle' it made her fur stand on end.

The advice she gave them was what Liontalon told her back from her training, fear can make you fight harder and run faster. That seemed to comfort them.

And so, Froststar lead his warriors and a few apprentices across the border of AmberClan and CloudClan territory. The albino tom didn't hesitate to rush into camp without warning, attacking the enemy warriors.

Hauntedpool leapt at a warrior, clawing at their side before recognizing Sunpaw, now Sunsplash, scratching Foxpaw's, now Foxtrail's, ears. Hauntedpool leapt at another CloudClan cat, biting their leg before jumping away. Before the other cat could attack her, she heard a familiar yowl. She turned her head to look at Thunderfire.

He was being backed into a corner by Heartpaw, now Heartcinder, and had obviously just got off of the ground. Hauntedpool got pushed onto the ground, but ignored her opponent as she ran over to her Clan mate and stood in front of him protectively.

She couldn't stop the blow to her neck, or the instinctual fear the flooded her.

* * *

She knew that she was scared of that battle, but at least the went out protecting a friend. She didn't regret a thing. She looked over at Tundrakit, who was standing next to her body.

"See? You're a great warrior," he meowed. "Now come on, StarClan's waiting for you."


End file.
